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Suicide Scare

Sooooo, last week went way WAY off the rails.  It started out fine, and I was watching my Fitbit like a maniac, then my 12 year old son confessed to me that he wants to kill himself but he's "not ready yet".  You can imagine I have been a wreck, and I have been trying to comfort with food.  My body feels so awful, I literally loathe how I feel eating and drinking all the stuff I have been since he said that.  He is autistic and very sensitive, but he also likes to get a reaction, but this is not something I would ever take a chance on.  I went with him to see a counselor this morning and he was very open and honest even when it was hard to admit things.  In these moments, no matter who you are, you feel like a failure as a parent.  You play things in your head that you could have/should have handeled better.  You wonder if your own mental health issues have been passed along.  You wonder about a million things that could or should be done different.  Ultimately, he said …

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